No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
we made out on top of his cat.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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