My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
