i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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