problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize