he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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