im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
