So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
