you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No subtext here. People are naked.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
