Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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