and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
