Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
