rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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