I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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