the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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