I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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