i'm signing you up for texting rehab
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
