I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
God I need to hump something, right now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
