awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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