I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize
