bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
