This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize