My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
