just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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