My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just gargled with NyQuil
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
