HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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