I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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