I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
