I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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