if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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