I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
