why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
the raccoons are back...
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