Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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