I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
