Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
