we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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