His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
