I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize