I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
