Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
