My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
