In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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