I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
