I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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