actually, I'm a sock model
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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