as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize