I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
3 2 1 whiskey
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
