Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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