Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
