Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
