I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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