Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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