My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
