she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize