STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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