her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
