So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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