she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
