i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
