Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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