omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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