My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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