just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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