I wish I only lived at night.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
