she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
