It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
"it" just moved
so explain again why im purple
no
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
