She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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