As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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