god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
