only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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