i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
