Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
