STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
