Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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